I’ve been thinking a lot about the future. It’s a bit hard not to when the countdown to motherhood is constantly on my mind. There’s so many unknowns right now about how much my life will change. What will motherhood by like? What will my child be like? How will this shift all things in my life, especially on a creative/career basis? I’ve spent the majority of my life pouring my energy into creative projects, music, or photography with a highly focused business mind since I was 13 years old. But now that my body has gone into baby growing mode, it’s definitely calling the shots. I’m not really used to slowing down, and it has taken some time to adjust to. Even now as summer approaches and I dream of doing big hikes and going camping, I have to remember that my body might not be down for as ambitious plans as my mind is making.
On the other hand, it’s completely surreal and awesome to watch my body swell and change knowing that I am growing life inside me. It’s causing me to rethink everything from downsizing the amount of stuff in my house to what bigger creative projects I would like to at least start before baby arrives. I can feel myself being pulled down a rabbit hole with one particular photography project that has me digging through library catalogues, and reading over my morning coffee, and often in the middle of the night when I can’t get back to sleep.
I’ve always been intensely focused on portraiture when it comes to photography, but I’m finding my interests expanding into the Canadian landscape. Not just the people and sights, but the history, geology, and culture. How it shapes us and we shape it. It’s all still coming into focus, but it feels like something unstoppable unfolding before me. I’m enjoying allowing my curiosity to lead, not knowing what the final destination of this project will be.
